new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
