just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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