Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
