I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
