"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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