So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize