Rock
Scissors
Fuck
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
