im about as happy as oj after his trial
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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