that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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