just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
