I wish I could punch you in the face.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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