I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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