Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
