I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize