I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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