We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
