Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize