there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
