he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just found puke in my bra..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
