you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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