he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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