How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Girls should come with a carfax report
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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