Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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