Christians are straight up FREAKS
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
