It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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