They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
