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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
