every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
