he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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