Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
a search helicopter?!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
