READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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