Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
