the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
