i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i've created a new STD.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
