And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
