she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
