Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
