Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you will always have a special place in my vag
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
