fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
