Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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