Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
