I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
