what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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