why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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