he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I will be naked everywhere
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
