She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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