Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
