I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
