I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
