Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
