Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We named our party play list daddy issues
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
