i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You pole danced in your parka.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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