think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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