My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
