Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm sobbing to NWA
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
