She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
