I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
