Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize