he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
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