textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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