dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
