He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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