I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
