On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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