that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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