the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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