i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize