I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
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