would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
