hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
