It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
