I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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