they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
