Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
