Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
