I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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