Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
