mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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