Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize