okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize