That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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