i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
