he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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